Mourning a Husband Who Has Not Yet Passed

Previously I have posted a few excerpts from Rubin's book, Intimate Strangers (1983). In 2011, she wrote an article regarding her husband, Hank, who suffered from dementia (both Lillian and Hank have since passed, Hank in 2011, in the same year of this article's publication, and Lillian in 2014). She described what it was like in her... Continue Reading →

The Approach-Avoidance Dance, Excerpt from Intimate Strangers: Men and Women Together by Lillian B. Rubin

“Intimacy. We hunger for it, but we also fear it. We come close to a loved one, then we back off. A teacher I had once described this as the “go away a little closer” message. I call it the approach-avoidance dance. The conventional wisdom says that women want intimacy, men resist it. And I... Continue Reading →

I Love You: Opening Remarks to Intimate Strangers by L. B. Rubin

““I love you”--magical words, longed for, hoped for, dreamed about. “I love you”--words that hold out the promise that loneliness will be stilled, that life will at last be complete. Once, not so long ago, we heard those words and thought about forever. Once, they signaled the end of the search, meant that we would... Continue Reading →

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