The Macho Paradox

“Many people have rightly asked, “What is the macho paradox?” […] If you are a man, it is a lot easier to be sexist and abusive toward women–or remain silent in the face of other men’s abuse–than it is to speak out against sexism. It is ironic that men who speak out against men’s violence against women are often called wimps, when they actually have to be more self-confident and secure than men who remain silent in order to fit in and be “one of the guys.” […] The same qualities that some people ascribe to macho or hypermasculine behavior, such as ”toughness” or willingness to use violence to get one’s way, can be read as expressions of weakness and cowardice. In other words, a man who beats his wife or girlfriend proves not that he’s a “real man” who is “in control” and thus worthy of others’ respect, but rather that he has serious problems and needs immediate help.”

Katz, Jackson. 2006. The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks, Inc. (Page 4.)